Life Purposes

Today, I started writing privately, but I had to get on the blog and do it here. There's more energy here. Thank God I'm not noodling around on my computer journal.

For a month, I have been bothered by an upper lung irritation, possibly due to dust in my environment. I am a guitarist/singer and I have had to perform during this time and I have a gig coming up in a week. I'm not happy about it because thee is a tendency to cough at inopportune moments. However, I am tired of this symptom and I have started vigorously affirming, "I am strong and well." This gets the energy going and I fully embody complete health today. So, I am strong and well. I am strong and well. I am strong and well.

I am on a roll in this phase of life allowing the universe to come through me in as many ways as possible. I realize that I might be in a hyper stage in this process and it might be coming through here.

Enough vamping, what do I have to say? I'm saying what's going through my mind at this time. I find myself not fully loving what I'm doing musically. It's a soft sensitive sound and I'm not sure there's enough energy in it. Do I sound enervated and weak (thus the "strong" part of the affirmation)? I have some doubts around this. Generally, people listen quietly and at least a few people say they've enjoyed the performance or some such thing afterwards. I think I am making something out of nothing. Maybe, I don't have to make a high energy performance. It's not who I am at this time. It doesn't mean I can't change my material to include more high energy music, but I am a finger picker, so that might be a stretch. My sense is that I am running over this situation and there is actually no problem. I have a fear that what I'm doing is too gentle and soft. The environment hasn't told me anything like this, that there is a problem with what I'm doing. Maybe, if I add one song to my repertoire that is clearly high energy, that will make a difference in how I feel about my set. To be honest there are some higher energy songs in it already. I think this issue is all within my head, but I'm not sure.

Well, I'm still here after that processed dilemma. What will I write about now? It's easy to write, you just look up in your mind and write what is there. So what is there? Thoughts about writing. That's interesting, looking into your mind to find thoughts about writing. That's similar to people whose life purpose is to assist others in defining and living their life purpose. The word "their" is kind of vague in that context. Do the people they are helping live a self chosen purpose or do they live out the unlived life purposes of the facilitator? The whole dynamic is ironic. So, where do I fit into this? I have thought about living a life where I inspire people to clarify their life purpose, but I've felt unsatisfied by that because it leaves me out of the equation. Can my purpose entail that? Well, that was conceived of several years ago and I haven't gotten busy fulfilling that purpose. Actually there were other parts to that purpose as defined back then. I defined my purpose as to inspire people to live magnificently so that they can experience clarity of purpose and great fulfillment of their potential. Unfortunately I didn't take any specific actions to implement that purpose and I feel that it has lain dormant in my life. But that may not be the case. I may be living it without doing anything deliberate to set it into motion. I'm open to that possibility. If anyone feels particularly inspired by reading this blog , let me know, please.